I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
