So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
