dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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