I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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