just tell him i said nine months
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
