she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
