Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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