So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
