Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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