At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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