Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
