It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize