I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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