It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
