Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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