please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
