I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
