Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
