Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
why is half of my head shaved?
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