You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize