I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
