dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How does one acquire holy water?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
