Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
