It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
