I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
