Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
