He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist