I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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