so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
