If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
