you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
