woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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