very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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