had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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