im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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