He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize