Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.