i barfeds in our rink
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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