You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
