It's Friday. Sex?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize