careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Come see our sink grown plant.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
