FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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