he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
