going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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