do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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