new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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