3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
