I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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