we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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