Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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