Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
