i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
