Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize