is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
