So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
