he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
