Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry about my life...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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