She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
