you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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