it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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