what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
