I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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