Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize