Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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